im supposed to read UNGS at this very hour but i guess im getting lazier by the minutes. information overload, that i felt the massive traffic jam buzzing in my head. i guess its time for a pit stop, warming down session. just a quickie anyway.

life at stake.

currently reaching its peak of this new chapter, as in the post-breakup chapter. had my mind totally and completely off him (Alhamdulillah), and getting busier every passing days. certain times i breakdown, and gain support from Allah SWT, family and friends. my deepest love fall for all of you.

i decided not to care too much about other people's mess. i will just try to do my part, and its completely up to her to accept it or not. just doing my bit as a Muslim, and as entrusted by her mother. and i will just leave out all the rest to Allah.

in hopes that no more drama, as me myself is already a drama queen.

dearest you.

i hope you understand how much i need the time

for us to learn about each other

for you to believe me

and for me to believe you

late night chats and the witty conversations we had

will never be really enough to approve your request

i sincerely apologize if im tormenting you

but im not feeling that much sorry

because i know im driving us

to do the right thing

lets be mature adults

who think ahead of anything

my set of rules are simple

you really love me, you'll wait even forever.

manusia memang hebat dengan permainan kata-kata.

tetapi hebatkah manusia bermain dengan kehendak hati? :)

so my patrickstar, be patient k?

besides these things, i dont think there's anything else i'd like to rant about. hope to have a great long weekend soon, with family and friends, with him.

untitled.

ALHAMDULILLAH. prase to The Almighty Allah SWT for:

1. showing me how much He cares by sending me someone who really cares about me. :)

2. open up her heart to get back to the right path.

despite this awful, rough two weeks im facing, i know later at night before i close my eyes to sleep there's always someone who wouldn't mind listening to me being cranky and all. the best part is, he doesn't mind when im talking weird stuff. he would join instead. hehe.

and then there's this emotionally-strained drama + conflicts + coldwar between me and her. actually, im not even involved in the first place. things were cool before because i kept it cool. i made a vou to myself, that i want to avoid any drama between me anyone this year. but i guess, conflicts keep chasing me..when im NOT the one who started it. why la..

i was just being nice. i was just being the carefree girl who wont give a damn about what she's doing all along. but things started to get wayy out of hand now. and i just dont know where t0 start. well, i just plan to keep it shut, until the right time strikes, until she blurt it out. so hentakla almari all you want, terbalikkanla almari ke katil ke, i dont care. you mess up with me, there's a price to pay. bagi muka panjat kepala. marahla ni kan.

damn. i reli reli reli miss my darling nieces. boleh tak, aritu i menangis sebab rindu sangat kt farah? meroyan ke ape.

later kids.

so i've let go of the past. so the feelings for him is completely dead, and i dont feel like flipping the pages back. so i've found someone new that i think, might be the one.

but why am i still so very afraid? why do i keep telling myself that if i lose this shot again, i may just, lose myself. my whole life. to pick up all the broken pieces and glue them back one by one, only to watch it broken again someday is unbearable. i just cannot stand anymore, being hurt, betrayed, used.

i need someone who loves me so much he dares not do anything that could hurt me. with words especially. im so fragile, it irritates even myself.

oh, by the way.
he's a piece of art.
a masterpiece.
a quiet charm.
a smile that feels like home.
eyes that enlighten my tired days.
laugh that sings straight into my heart.
voice that soothes this bruised heart.
a bold grace with gentle gestures.
he listens, he understood.
he nods, he remembered.
he looks my way, he watched.


im crazy if i lose this guy to some other girl.
apparently already going nuts just to think of him.

aku manusia lemah
selalu terjatuh berbeda aku darimu

kau berdiri teguh
aku serba tiada
aku kekurangan
dan bila kau tiba
aku hilang dari kewujudan

sempurnanya sifatmu
tulusnya hatimu
jujurnya niatmu
tingginya kesabaranmu
lepaskanlah diriku
kerna ku tak sanggup tuk menanggung
sebuah cinta sempurna
darimu...

ithinktoomuchiknow.

kepala otak saya penuh dengan exams quizzes assignments presentation xde duit ptptn hutang itah rm5 mama masak ape kat rumah farah sofea rindu maksu tak serious teringin nak pegi trip dengan member2 tapi xde duit asal aku asyik semput lately aisey da naik 1kg balik setiap malam ade class boleh meninggal la macam ni penat penat penat nak gi main kat pantai or lepak2 kt tempat best cam putrajaya (?) nak tengok movie cte valentines day ade patrick dampsey kalaula dapat husband cam die teringin nak makan ice cream vanilla tapi tekak tak berapa baik lagi nak jumpa patrick star nak tanye die lahir kat mana and favourite colour die ape eh lagu cinta sempurna by yuna best glee ish teringin nak makan mix fruit dalam cup hrm nanti nak beli lipcolour baru nivea punye xbest agak2 ili marah aku tak coz xangkat die call aritu coz aku nga penat sangat time tu and cred pulak abes nak call balik ble mase nak activate youthclub ni maxis cepat cekikla asal aku rase cam dhiya da balik msia tapi tak contact aku APE MASALAH PMPUAN TU KAN macam xde orang lain je nak mintak tolong ajakan ishh aku kena open minded ckitla bukan macam mamat tu da jadi bf aku pun tapi aku SAKIT HATI okay hrm esok agak2 aku bley jawab ke tak programming ni uh eish takot malam ni nak skip halaqah tp xboleh da coz da skip 2x ish kecohla esok nak exam segala bagai ttibe malam ni study circle aku WAJIB stay up malam ni harap2 tak kong esok xsaba nak tunggu malam sabtu ni coz endos nak dtg bwk aku g makan kt ipoooohhh!

thats it.

S T A R T.

my throat is getting worrrrstt every second. i think it has become an ulcer now. aduh.

this week, memang hard core punya. i have to stay up the whole week for:

1. project maths, quiz maths

2. study for midterm programming

this weekend im not goin back, because i have:

3. group assignment maths

4. group assignment ungs; slide presentation and subtopics compilation, study for midterm ungs

5. study for midterm database practical

in conclusion, this week + next week is gonna be full throttle, mind blowing, geek-in-the-specky mode, super nocturnal week.

wish me luck people. i may need that.

byebye blog. till we meet again.

i dont know when to stop smiling dowh.

habisla..